A lot has been going on in the past months, like-HELL OF A LOT ;_; Really awesome, good things and terrible things. Where do I start :'D Well, I went trough a hardcore depression after Bongo attacked me last year. It was so bad that at times I couldn't even get out of bed, everything was so difficult and strenuous. Idk if you know that feeling, it seems so silly looking back at it once you are okay again. The depression came sneaking in, first I thought "woah everything is fine" but then the doubts came. The evil doubts that question your whole existence. The kind of doubts that paralyze the mind, making it impossible to look forward, you are stuck in a kind of limbo. But I managed to get out of it again-well with the help of my happy-pills Seriously, if you are stuck in depression, go to a doctor, some problems *no, not all of them* indeed are solved with pills. Simple and easy
Then, around november my very good friend Petra (I think I mentioned her here and there) lost her job. It is horrible to see a person you love giving up and there is nothing you can do about it. She found her fake-peace in alcohol, there were times when she rang me at 3 in the afternoon and was unable to speak one clear sentence as she was so drunk. Worst was that her dog died unexpectedly on christmas day. I spent my christmas crying with her at her place. One sentence she repeated again and again: "I want to die". She lost everything that gave her a reason within weeks and again, there is nothing you can do to heal the broken heart, it needs time. But she is not willing to let time heal, she is so desperate. The day before yesterday was her third attempt to commit suicide. I told her, "you are not going to die, I won't let you". She is "my" person, nobody understands me like she does. On the other hand I know how it feels like wanting it to end. But every time I made the decision, a wet nose poked my hand. My dogs are everything to me and I am sure everybody who has one knows what I mean. They saved me in so many ways. Petra has no dog to save her anymore. She just had this one and she lost him. And now she is a person without a reason. So much worry and I have no idea how to help her as she doesn't want to be saved.
On a happier note, Rottweiler Nr. 2 moved in with me in January. Yes, right, Zeus from the shelter Now his name is Marley, he is adorable and totally banana :'D A very protective, strong personality and I am glad I have so many years of experience. He is on a good way though, very willing to please and a joy to work with. I'll post some pictures of my whole pack once the weather is better ;D
Best thing comes last, I got a new job ^_^ One with a "deeper meaning": I am working in a residential care home for the elderly, specializing in psychiatry. Alzheimer's disease, dementia of all kind and schizophrenia. It is a hardcore job but the joy and deep happiness it brings-it is so worth it! A lot of my old people don't remember my name but they do know that I am the kind of person who likes to hug so a lot just come up and hug me as this seems something they can remember :'D I can't even start to describe how heart-warming this kind of work is. On the long run I want to introduce service dogs to our care home, my favorite of course would be a pitbull or staff-bull ;D I'm still looking for a rather young dog from a rescue as none of my dogs are suitable for this kind of work and I wouldn't be too happy if my old ppl and the dogs decided to have a bitch-fight o_O (and I am not too sure to be honest who would win it xD)
Life is awesome, some things won't make sense in the beginning but they do have their purpose and their reason-we just need to find it. We need to find something that brings peace to our soul, it might lie in the total opposite direction of where we started our journey. Just don't ever give up, I truly believe that everybody can be happy and that everybody has a meaning in the big picture When I was young my greatest dream was to save the world. Today I am grown up and know that I can't save the whole world so I changed the definition. Now I am saving tiny, tiny worlds, those of one single, desperate animal and those of one single, lonely old person. I've never been happier in my whole life!